What the fuck is hungrythirsty?

Alright, what the fuck is hungrythirsty?  Why is it pathetic?  Why is a vegan sausage pathetic and what the hell is oak?  If you haven't seen this current advertising campaign it is for a 'new' chocolate milk drink and makes a variety of interesting claims.  This one forced me to put digital pen to virtual paper and comment on the ridiculousness of brands trying to create problems in order to sell a solution.  Of course this is not a new phenomenon as you will know if you buy anything from whitening toothpaste, through to deoderant or even the simplest of sphincter chafing garments the G-String (to solve the problem of VPL of course).  But seriously, hungrythirsty?  I get what you are trying to say oak, but I am so disgusted at the condescending nature of your accusation that I actually walked three blocks to another service station the other night to avoid buying your product.  Not to mention the fact that the other advertisement in this campaign claims to "kill hungrythirsty dead and inform its next of kin via text message".  What the hell is wrong with this world where a reference to bloody murder and lack of remorse can be used to sell a product in a marketplace.  And what exactly is pathetic about a vegan sausage?  Unless of course you wish to create some kind of representational link between meat eating, masculinity, strength, popularity and generally being 'hard as fuck'.  This advertisement is obviously trying to appeal to that energy drink guzzling hyper masculine demographic where nothing is worse than being 'soft' or 'pathetic' and the ability to appear tough as nails is the highest social capital that one can attain.  Sure we have witnessed this phenomenon before and have seen advertising agencies try to make "the fuzzies" part of our vernacular (to encourage kids to eat sugar laden breakfast cereals) along with the promotion of the idea that hair growth is abnormal on any place other than the head (thanks cK),  that men should be able to sustain sexual intercourse for periods of up to an hour (nasal delivery), or that any kind of natural cellulite on a woman's body can and should be simply be zapped away (fatzap).  I'll tell you what's pathetic, the fact that Oak would have the gall to think that an advertising campaign like this would be taken seriously by anyone at all.  I swear I will break down and cry if I ever overhear somebody in the street say "man i'm so hungrythirsty I could really go an oak" and as long as this advertising campaign lasts I will do everything in my power to avoid ever purchasing this product.  Advertising can be a perverted beast sometimes and sometimes it's all very well to scoff and say things like "well nobody takes it seriously" but the problem is that the most vulnerable members of society are those being preyed on by the industry.  People with self esteem issues, the lonely, the mentally ill and the young are all of the people that are likely to be swayed by the belief that being 'hard as fuck' is of any value at all in today's society.  Change the game people, don't buy into the bullshit. 

www.adbusters.org