The Brownlow, keeping bogan dreams alive.

So it's Brownlow time again and the masses of bogans are salivating at the latest HPOA that some strapping young footy player has managed to convince to hang off his arm for the walk down the blue carpet.  The Brownlow medal ceremony evening is significant for many reasons and an important night in our sporting history.  I know you are thinking "yes of course it is, it importantly recognises the incredible amount of talent our young footballers have" but you would be wrong. Allow me to explain why the Brownlow medal ceremony is really an important part of Australian culture.  Firstly and most importantly it keeps the dream alive for many parents living vicariously through their children at under 14s footy on the weekend that their child may actually have a story on the channel ten news one day.  ACA might even agree to do a feature piece on their child's amazing 'against the odds' struggle to become an elite athlete.  All the swearing, the training, the instilling of hatred for both teammates and competitors will pay off one day with that triumphant walk down the blue carpet.  The second group of people that are happy to see Brownlow time roll around again are the not too bright but ridiculously attractive 'footy babes' that know that if they sneak into enough club functions and training sessions, then they might one day be invited to participate in the waxing, preening, and frocking that is the Bronlow for the WAGs.  There is however the possibility that during the course of becoming involved in the club they will of course be date raped by one of the young football players that hasn't quite worked out that fucking drunk girls after they have passed out doesn't count as consensual sex.  Unfortunately there will be a lack of evidence and she will receive a hefty payout from the club to keep the incident quiet but will possibly end up on ACA herself as part of an expose piece years from now.  But let's not let that detract from the possibility that there is a slim chance that she will one day be invited to the Brownlow medal ceremony night.  The final reason that the Brownlow medal night is an important part of Australian culture is that there is one last dream that it keeps alive.  Brownlow night instills the belief in the promising young footballer that despite having a face like a smashed crab and not being able to string a coherent sentence together without offending several minority groups (see pic),  he might be able to somehow snare a relatively attractive piece of arm bling for the evening.  It goes unsaid that part of this fantasy is knowing that there are teens all over Australia beating off to the revealing picture of her that will no doubt show up in the 'small' paper the following day thereby cementing his status as a football god.  The Bronlow's is all about the hype and surrounding fanfare and if a sport can't be commodified then what's the point really.  It's a shame that genuinely talented people in the public service or the arts don't get the same adulation and spectacle afforded to them. The Brownlow night has become a farce, far from the original idea of a celebration of sportsmanship and talent at the end of the football season.  It has become a competition to get the hottest chick, the most expensive bling, the most revealing dress by the most 'in' designer and let's not forget, it's also about who can get the drunkest.  Far from being a legitimate celebration of sportsmanship and talent it has become a joke of which I am sure Charles Brownlow would not be proud.